


The Right Thing

by AithuzahFic (veritably_mad)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s02e08 The Sins Of The Father, Gen, Magic Revealed, Sins of the Father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 05:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veritably_mad/pseuds/AithuzahFic
Summary: Merlin jumped when Arthur spoke.“He didn’t deny it,” he said, his voice low and cool.“I’m sorry?”“He said he loved her and would never hurt her, but he never said it wasn’t true.”





	1. Chapter 1

A full day had passed since the prince had held a sword to the king’s throat, and the nausea in Merlin’s gut and heart hadn’t receded. Merlin stumbled through his duties sick with self-disgust.

He’d hated himself the moment the words came to mind, yet he’d choked them out anyway—a rejection of his own magic, of himself, and everyone like him.

And for what? To save the life of a man who had stolen theirs? Someone who would kill him and feel nothing but satisfaction at his death?

No, no, he told himself. Not for him. Never for his sake. For Arthur’s. To keep him from killing his father in a fit of (entirely justified) rage. To keep him from taking the throne through patricide and regicide.

It had been the right thing to do. He’d had to. And yet...

He hadn’t had to say _that_.

He should have said something else, anything else. And instead he drove Arthur away from the truth Morgause had shown him and right back into his father’s hateful lies.

The right thing to do, but the wrong way to do it. The worst way. 

* * *

Merlin found Arthur staring out the window of his chambers, his brow furrowed in thought but his face otherwise calm. His elbow rested on his other arm, his face cupped in his hand, mouth hidden.

Merlin jumped when Arthur spoke. 

“He didn’t deny it,” he said, his voice low and cool.

“I’m sorry?”

“He said he loved her and would never hurt her, but he never said it wasn’t true.”

Was this real? What was happening?

“Thank you, Merlin, for what you said. I was...confused, and angry, and you kept me from making a mistake I would surely regret. I’m grateful.”

...And Merlin was lost.

“I know I can’t trust Morgause,” Arthur continued, again dragging the conversation into a sharp turn to a new direction. “She was manipulating me...but what if she used the truth to do it? My father would never admit to it. His pride wouldn’t let him. And...”

Arthur sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes shut. He turned from the window and began pacing.

Merlin felt lightheaded, like he should sit down, or slap himself awake from this...daydream, this unbelievable fantasy.

“Threatening his life only made confession less likely. It wouldn’t have saved him, it would have condemned him—he knew that. Of course he would continue the lie. Attacking him—it was arrogant. Childish. Dangerous.” If Merlin’s breath hadn’t been frozen in his throat, he might have teased Arthur about admitting such things about himself.

“What if you hadn’t stopped me—if I had struck him down, only to discover his innocence after it was too late? How could anyone trust a king who would kill out of thoughtless anger at an unproven crime?”

Arthur stopped with his gaze burning straight into Merlin’s.  

“And how can I trust that you’ve been told the truth? Is either story true, or are they both lies? What if the truth is something else entirely? Merlin, I need to _know_.”

“Arthur?” Why was he telling him all of this?

The prince shook his head, conflict written in the tension in his features. He paced to the table and dropped into his chair, propping his temple on one fist and drumming his fingers against the wood surface.

“There must be some record, some kind of evidence or sign. I need to see for myself, do you understand? I need to know if my father...if Uther...if what Morgause showed me is true.”

Merlin swallowed. He took a few cautious steps closer to where Arthur was seated. “And then what will you do?”

“I can’t serve a king who murders innocents to hide his guilt.”

“Arthur...”

“I can’t kill him, either. I...I don’t know.” He slumped forward, elbows on the table as he rubbed his eyes with his palms. “All of this, it’s madness, but...God. All these years, I’ve stood by—I’ve killed—they...they could have been innocent.” 

Arthur looked up at Merlin, his expression drained and weary. “I want to believe he could never do such things. That he—I—we’ve been protecting Camelot’s people, not slaughtering them. But...if I go on without knowing if my father is telling the truth, I’m as guilty as he is, and more innocents will die."

Every word Arthur had spoken had Merlin off-balance and reeling, but his next question threatened to knock him flat. 

“Will you help me?”

Merlin gaped at Arthur long enough that the earnest nobility of his expression faltered.

“I realize it’s a lot to ask—it is essentially treason, after all—”

“I have magic,” Merlin blurted, and then slapped both his hands over his mouth.

Arthur stared at him. Merlin stared back.

“Well,” Arthur said at last, “I suppose treason isn’t a problem for you, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found this while I was going through some old notebooks and decided to type it up. I _might_ continue it, but until then, here we are.
> 
> UPDATE: Looks like I'm continuing it. I still like this a lot as a stand-alone, though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding a magic user wasn’t so hard after all, as it turned out.

Arthur had replayed yesterday’s events again and again in his mind. Morgause’s promises, his mother’s story, his father’s denials, over and over, trying to match each word to what he knew, or thought he’d known. He didn’t know what was real anymore. It terrified him and he hated it.

A few times, he considered…Merlin had given him an escape. In all likelihood, he was right, and Morgause had wanted him to kill his father and throw the kingdom into chaos. He could dismiss Morgause’s magic as an empty illusion, her words as hollow and malicious, everything he saw as manipulations and lies. He could brush it all aside (like he had so many other things that hadn’t made sense over the years, things that were starting to make all too much sense). He could pretend all of it had meant nothing and move on as if it never happened. He could, but he didn’t think he could live with himself if he did.   

So he’d made plans. Despite Merlin’s cautions and insistence that Morgause had lied, Arthur knew he could count on his servant’s help if he explained. Morgana would likely be an eager ally, as well; she had never hidden her passionate defiance of his father’s practices. Gaius had been a part of Camelot’s court long before the Purge had begun, and kept many books filled with history and arcane knowledge, but he was deeply loyal to the king, and Arthur wasn’t sure what the physician would willingly reveal. Arthur suspected his father had kept records from the Purge hidden from the public – perhaps he could search the library, or the carefully guarded vaults in the depths of the castle. Most difficult of all, however, would be finding the Druids or any other magic users willing to speak with him peacefully and share their stories.

Except now there was…this. 

Finding a magic user wasn’t so hard after all, as it turned out. 

Merlin let out a weak laugh, then lowered his hands from his face, revealing the tense line of his mouth. His whole body looked shaky, like he’d crumble to pieces if he moved the wrong way. Arthur tried to see a threat to Camelot in the skinny, shabby, watery-eyed man before him. It didn’t work.

Merlin took a slow, unsteady breath. “Are you serious?” he said quietly. Suddenly, Arthur found it hard to meet the intensity of Merlin’s gaze, to read the tangle of emotions there. “About finding out what really happened?” 

“I am,” he said. There was no other answer to give.

It was hope, Arthur realized. Shining through the slowly fading fear and anxiety, he saw hope in Merlin’s eyes. 

Merlin’s voice was stronger when he spoke, resolute in a way that Arthur had never heard from him. “Then I will help you in every way I can.”

The implications of his words were not lost on Arthur. “With magic.” 

Merlin lowered himself into the chair across the table from the prince. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he said after he’d settled, his body turned just slightly toward the door, watching Arthur’s reaction. 

It occurred to Arthur that he should be angry about this, or hurt. His own trusted servant had broken the law and lied to him about using magic – on him? for him? for how long? 

Instead, he barely felt surprised. He lifted one hand to rub his temple, trying to ease the low ache starting there. His chest still felt raw from the fury and heartbreak he’d barely gotten under control. He had too many questions and didn’t know where to begin. 

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. He’d wanted Merlin’s help with this, and now he had that, and then some. He could work with this. It was better than he could have hoped for, really, he told himself a bit frantically. 

His brow furrowed, and he opened his eyes. “But yesterday, you said—“

“I didn’t mean it,” Merlin said quickly, leaning forward with his hands on the table in earnest desperation to get the words out. “I didn’t mean what I said. I just had to—I couldn’t let you kill him like that, I didn’t know what else to do, that was the only thing I could think to say that I thought might...make enough sense to you that you’d stop,” he finished lamely, slumping back in his chair as his energy petered out and uncertainty took hold again.

Arthur spent a moment sorting through the rushed babble. “You lied because you thought it was the only thing that would keep me from killing my father.”

Merlin winced. “…Yes?” 

“You were probably right,” Arthur admitted. He shifted in his chair. If Merlin had lied, then… “Was…was what Morgause showed me real, then?”  _ Was  _ **_she_ ** _ real?  _

His voice sounded small even to his own ears.

Merlin bit his lip, concern creasing his forehead and softening his eyes. “I’m not sure, Arthur. I don’t know the spell she used. I…” He hesitated, then pressed onward. “I might be able to figure it out, though. I recognized some of the words. ”

Arthur’s fingers were back at his temples, rubbing slow circles. “How much do you know about magic, exactly?”

“Aha. Um.” Merlin shrugged, the corner of his mouth quirking in a guilty smile. “Quite a bit?” 

Arthur bit back a groan. His servant apparently knew “quite a bit” about magic, and he wasn’t even sure if that was a bad thing anymore. 

Merlin’s smile faded, and he opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. Opened, and closed again. Arthur raised his eyebrows at him and waved a hand for him to continue, and he sighed. 

“Gaius was in the courtyard when we got back,” he said at last. “I asked him if you were born of magic that Uther used.”

Arthur sat up, his pulse beating in his fingertips. “And?”

“He said he feared what you would do if you ever found out.”

Arthur sank back in his chair, feeling tears prick at his eyes and blinking them back. “So he’s not denying it either. God. It’s all true, isn’t it? What else has he been hiding?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Merlin said. “That’s a promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure I like how this turned out, or if the first part was better off as a stand-alone. I actually wrote that part like 2 or 3 years ago and I haven't written much since then, so I'm kind of rusty. But here it is anyway!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You've proven yourself to be a trusted ally in the fight against magic.” Merlin had dutifully kept his eyes lowered, but as he registered Uther’s words, his head slowly lifted he stared at the king in bafflement.
> 
> “Me?” He could hardly keep himself from laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading Uther's dialogue for this scene made me realize that this, as well as Merlin's conversation with Arthur, take place the day _after_ Arthur meets with Morgause and confronts Uther. I updated a couple lines in the other chapters to reflect that (basically just adding "yesterday" in a couple places).
> 
> Also: I want to thank everyone who has left a comment. I really, truly appreciate every single one - they always make me smile and help inspire me to keep writing. <3

_Aris...arásae?_ Merlin’s feet guided his way through the castle back to his room by muscle memory alone, his mind focused on recalling every syllable Morgause had spoken. _Middangeard, suna to helpe, hider...hider est fund? Hider eft funda..._

He wanted to reach his magic book as soon as possible. He thought he knew what most of it meant, but he wanted to check his memory against the text, and see if Gaius had any other books that might refer to a similar spell.

If he was right, Arthur really had spoken to his mother’s spirit. But he wanted to be certain of it before he told him. He didn’t want to give him hope just to ruin the memory of that moment again.

He’d shut the door to the physician’s chambers, dropped his satchel on a table, and started toward his bedroom before he noticed Uther.

The tremulous, eager energy that had been driving him forward shattered against the jarring image of the stony king standing in his and Gaius’s home, leaving sharp shards of anxiety pricking in his limbs and chest.

_Why is he here? Does he know? How could he? But what if he does oh god oh no—_

“My Lord,” Merlin greeted the king as normally as he could manage. He remembered to bow his head a moment too late, and then ruined the gesture again by looking back up to watch as Uther closed the book he had been reading and dropped it carelessly on an already cluttered table. Merlin ducked his head and bowed deeper as the king approached him.

“I wanted to thank you in person for your actions yesterday,” Uther said. “You are a loyal servant to Arthur. I am most grateful.”

“I was just doing my duty.”

“You've proven yourself to be a trusted ally in the fight against magic.” Merlin had dutifully kept his eyes lowered, but as he registered Uther’s words, his head slowly lifted he stared at the king in bafflement.

“ _Me?_ ” He could hardly keep himself from laughing. 

“Those who practice magic will seek to exploit Arthur's inexperience,” Uther said. Merlin schooled his expression and nodded along as the king continued. “They will attempt to corrupt him. We must be extra vigilant.”

“I will keep my eyes peeled.” He tried to keep the irony out of his tone, but he wasn’t sure he entirely succeeded.

“I know you will.” Uther stepped past Merlin toward the door, but stopped before he reached it. He turned back to Merlin to add, “If you ever speak of what happened between myself and Arthur to another living soul, I will have you hanged.”

 _If I hang for anything, it’ll be for a lot worse than that_ , Merlin thought.

He bowed his head again as Uther finally stepped out of the chamber. “Right, of course. Yes, My Lord.”

Merlin was still staring at the open door when Gaius entered a moment later.  

“Was that _Uther_ I saw just leaving?” the physician asked, closing the door behind him and raising incredulous eyebrows at Merlin.

“Yeah. He just popped in to say hello.”

“Merlin, what did he want?”

“He wanted to thank me for being a trusted ally in the fight against magic.”

It was almost a relief to see the disbelief Merlin felt reflected in Gaius’s expression. He slumped into a chair as they both processed what had just occurred.

“How you've managed to keep that head on your shoulders is a mystery beyond our greatest minds,” Gaius mused as he set aside his bag. He joined Merlin at the table and met his eyes. “Uther should be grateful. Your life would've been easier and safer if you'd let him die. You must have been tempted.”

“Maybe for a moment,” Merlin admitted. God, had he been tempted. Uther deserved what Arthur would have done to him, and more. “But Arthur wouldn't have been able to forgive himself if he'd gone through with it. It would have destroyed him.” Learning the truth wouldn’t be much easier, but Merlin had no doubt Arthur would emerge a better man.

Gaius smiled gently. “I'm proud of you, Merlin.”

The praise from his friend and mentor warmed him, and Merlin let himself bask in it for a moment.

The moment passed.

“Gaius…” Merlin scuffed his boots against the stone floor, wondering how he was going to tell him that he’d blabbed his big secret to Arthur more or less by accident. Maybe he shouldn’t lead with that part. “Arthur isn’t letting this go. I thought…I could help him get some answers by finding the spell Morgause used.”

The comfort and pride from moments before were gone from Gaius’s face, replaced by apprehension. His mouth pulled into a thin line and his brow furrowed. “You don’t intend to…”

“I just want to know if what she showed him was real,” Merlin clarified hurriedly. “That could tell us more about Morgause’s abilities, couldn’t it?”

Gaius hummed, contemplating the idea with a frown. “It...might,” he agreed reluctantly. “What do you remember of the ritual?”

—

_Arise from death. Help your son. Return to this earth._

The translation wasn’t exact. Merlin couldn’t remember every word. But as far as they could tell, there hadn’t been anything malicious or deceptive in Morgause’s spell.

“We cannot trust that her intentions are altruistic,” Gaius cautioned. He had identified a ritual of the Old Religion similar to the one Morgause had used, and verified that it was designed to briefly contact the spirits of the dead. Morgause had modified the words to seek out Ygraine.   

“I know.” She had seemed calm and reasonable, but Merlin had been fooled before. Whatever her methods, Merlin suspected that Morgause planned to destabilize Camelot by destroying Arthur’s loyalty to his father. She may have even expected Arthur to kill him, as he almost had.

Although...if she knew what Arthur wanted to do, would she still seek to undermine Camelot? Or was Uther her true target?

He knew they couldn’t trust her, but maybe she didn’t have to be their enemy. If she truly had known the queen, what else could she tell them about Camelot’s hidden past?

The problem was that he didn’t know what she was really after.

…And that he didn’t know how to _find_ her if they ever wanted to talk.

“What are you up to?” Gaius’s suspicious voice brought him back to the present.

Merlin looked up from the page he’d been staring at. “Nothing,” he lied automatically. He wasn’t sure what Gaius would think of Arthur’s plans...or Merlin’s confession, for that matter.

Gaius narrowed his eyes at him. “I hope you’re not thinking of doing anything foolish.”

 _Too late_ , Merlin thought. “Foolish? That doesn’t sound like me at all,” he joked. Gaius’s skeptical expression didn’t change, and Merlin let his smile drop. “No, it’s just…” His jaw clenched, and he forced himself to meet Gaius’s eyes. “Arthur was born because Uther used magic. You _knew_ that. Why didn’t you say anything? ”

Gaius leaned back in his seat. “I made an oath that I would never speak of it.”

 _So?_ Merlin wanted to ask. _You’ll illegally harbor a sorcerer in the king’s own castle, but you won’t break a promise to tell me that Uther has been deceiving his son and all of Camelot?_

He grit his teeth, biting back the impulse. “Well, I know now. The secret’s out. Can’t hurt to tell me more, can it?” he tried.

“I swore I would take that knowledge to my grave.”

“Gaius, _please_.”

Gaius was silent for a moment as he considered, his pale blue eyes weary and calculating as they searched Merlin’s face. “I suppose you have a right to know the full story,” he said at last. “As does Arthur, but...Uther forbid me from telling him. And it seems he was right to fear what would happen if he knew.”  

Merlin closed his magic book and set it on the table beside them, turning to give Gaius his full attention.

The physician folded his hands in his lap, running his thumbs over his wrinkled knuckles as he began to speak.

“Nimueh was once welcomed in Camelot as an ally to the kingdom, and a friend to Uther,” he said. Merlin’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping slightly, but he stayed silent. “As a High Priestess of the Old Religion, she wielded powerful magic and influence, and Uther relied on her for advice and guidance. I was the Court Physician at that time, and practiced magic freely alongside her.”

Camelot had once been a place where magic was free, accepted, even respected. Merlin could hardly imagine it.

“When Uther realized that Ygraine could not conceive, he turned to magic for answers. I warned him that the magic of life and death was dangerous and unpredictable, but he would not listen. He thought it was his only option. So he sent me to ask Nimueh for her help. She told him, as I had, that there would be a price. A life for a life.”

Merlin knew that price all too well. He remembered heavy rains, the acrid smell of lightning and burnt flesh and cloth, his mother’s face marred by putrid boils. He suppressed a shudder.

“Uther accepted the risk,” Gaius continued. “Perhaps he thought that his life would be taken, or the life of a stranger. Either way, he commanded Nimueh to perform the spell, and she complied. Ygraine became pregnant soon after.”

“So Nimueh took Ygraine’s life?”

Gaius shook his head. “No. She let the Old Religion decide which life to exchange for the child’s when the time came. When Ygraine died just moments after Arthur took his first breaths, it was a shock to us all.”

“But Uther blamed her anyway.”

“Uther banished Nimueh from the court that very night. He had been growing wary of magic’s power for some time, and that incident broke his trust in it completely. The use of dark magic had been spreading. With more deaths and crimes attributed to magic than ever before, Uther was able to turn his people’s fears into hatred. And with that, the Purge had begun.”

Gaius fell silent, his eyes distant, lost in his memories. Merlin stared at his mentor’s profile, just...processing.

“I thought I could do more good by staying behind,” he said quietly, after a while. “Uther had been my friend for a long time. I thought I could reason with him, mitigate his anger. Or at the very least, use my position to help some people escape. So I swore to him I would never use magic again, and I stayed by his side while my friends fled the kingdom, or were caught and executed.”

“Gaius…” Merlin didn’t know what to say. He had never understood why Gaius would serve a man like Uther, until now.

Gaius blinked a few times, sending a stray tear streaking down his cheek. He wiped his face with his sleeve and gave Merlin a weak smile.

“Well, there you have it,” he said. “Now clean up these books and go to bed. I think we could both use some sleep.”

Merlin nodded, mute, and went to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe that Merlin never learns a lot of this stuff in canon? I sure can't! Canon Gaius is one secretive, shady fellow, that's for certain. Maybe it's OOC for him to spill the beans on everything like this, but according to canon it's also OOC for Arthur to learn from anything that happens, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, and constructive critiques are always welcome and much appreciated!
> 
>  [Come say hi!](https://aithuzah.tumblr.com/)


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